What God do you have?

I learned something this week...

I have had a harsh and tyrannical God, whom I inherited from my parents. They may not have experienced him that way... but that is who I learned to follow - except I know I was following a kind God too - I know Him/Her for other people...

I am angry that my parents neglected me for the sake of their service to this harsh God and I am angry that I wore myself out in his service too.

I said to my counsellor this week.. I don't want that God any more... I want a good, kind, loving, compassionate, gentle, upholding, forgiving and just God...

It is going to take some time to discover Her/Him or/and to be discovered by Her/Him.

I have a lot of work to do in releasing these long held angry feelings - the process has started - and I will have an opportunity tomorrow when I see my counsellor - to continue to explore these things.

It is very scary for me....