Rain and heat packs

Sunday afternoon

Sad today --

 Not really coping with regular work - at least not this week.. :-(.

 Car back with me, but still not fixed - will have to take the computer out and send it away for testing - guess it will be back to walking and public transport for a few days, when I have to take it in.

 heat pack, hot water bottle, candle, music, computer and going to a friend's for lunch.

 More tears today ...................

Car trouble

The car is back at the mechanic today - because of the orange warning light of the past couple of weeks.

Talked to the mechanic and he said it could be one of three very expensive things... so he is going to check out the wreckers tomorrow morning - and hope he can find out which one it is - and get it cheaper.
 
I really hope he can.........................

 Guess I'll know by tomorrow afternoon - and cope with whatever it is then...

study in blue

This was playing around with something different - some masks and heads and I threw in a mobile phone - just to be different.

 I like the blue.

Latest picture

The pictures of the other two ladies, and this one came from the same photo - I was standing behind them with my arms around their shoulders - hence the slightly hunched over look.

 Really struggling to get the mouths right - so I added 'lipstick' to this one - sprayed it with fixative before I went back and worked on it some more.  All part of the learning.

Wednesday

5.25 Wednesday afternoon.

 Thankful:
 - that I feel a little more settled today
 - for fly spray to kill blow flies that haunt the door to come in with you
 - for drawing class - photo to follow eventually - once I get batteries for my camera.
 - for my young mum friend and her kids - who welcome me and let me play with them....

 for candles and music.....................

 .......................................

The internet

8.30 pm. Sunday

I can see how people become addicted to the internet.

 I belong to a depression support site - and have kept checking it today - to see what people are saying...

Is there anything comforting for me????

And it wasn't much - chat was used a lot... I'm not brave enough to venture into chat anymore - I used to.

 Endless hot drinks today as well ...

 My friend left at midday - we had good talks sitting in the sun. Sweet....

 Lots of chores this afternoon - in between the time on the computer.

Now..... what was my reasonable resolution about the gym? ... I need to remember, I always lose that one at night - but can often find it again by morning... I hope so.

 Candles burning.....  wordless prayers ..... for help .....

clearing

1.50, Saturday afternoon.

It rains.... and then it clears a bit... even with the promise of more rain ahead.

Candles of hope

A friend to stay

Pan flute music, soft and soothing

New resolutions - gym - to at least GET there!

Realistic expectations are a useful thing

Washing dried outside in the wind - smells delicious.

Today

10.20 pm Thursday...

Tears today.... are they supposed to be a gift????

 What do you do when the words disappear???

 Sleep will come.....

Spring dusk and daylight savings

8.00 pm, Tuesday

The sun has gone for today..
It will come back tomorrow..
 Life is a rhythm of cycles: days; seasons; lifetimes - births and deaths; upswing and downswing; hunger and satiation;

 Wish my days had more upswings than they do...

 Guess that is where trust comes in...

 Drawing, then work tomorrow - I am really glad there is a sleep first!

Thankful....

 - ability to do some work today.
 - music
 - washing machines
 - .......................

 7.10 Monday evening

Blankies and recliners

2.30 Sunday afternoon

It has been blankie weather - and hotties, and heat packs... snow on them there hills - and it is half way through spring.

 Thought the car was fixed after the work done on it of Friday afternoon... but the warning light is back on again.  Bummer.  So the part will need to be replaced... $$.  I need to drive it until later in the week though, but will ring the mechanic tomorrow and ask him to get the part in.

Am so appreciating the spring colour and flowers on trees, bushes and in gardens....

Found a frame for the picture of my mum yesterday - might enter it in the local show - just for fun!  Now that is a novel thought.  Need to decide this week.

 Thankful for roofs, walls, windows, and God's canopy today.

Delayed reactions

Had a very welcome visit to my therapist this morning after a disturbed and distressing night.

We came to the conclusion that my distress yesterday and overnight was a delayed reaction from seeing Uncle J on Tuesday afternoon....  It takes a while for my body and feelings to find themselves.

 We talked it through - and I feel more settled today - this afternoon.

 Meanwhile - I took my car to the mechanic and he still has it ... It is 4.00 pm on Friday afternoon....

He didn't know if he would be able to get the part today - Does he work tomorrow?  I don't know.

It will be a challenge to cope with the weekend without a car - and makes the plans for early next week difficult too......  Trust...... hey???

It has been raining since early morning today - steady misty rain that has turned quite cold this afternoon.  It is okay though - sort of snuggly.

Thanks for a gifted, trusted therapist....
For shelter in the rain.
That all the miners and rescuers got out in Chili.
For the fact that distress doesn't last forever.

Rain and hail

Sometimes the rain and hail are on the inside...

Sore shoulder xrayed and ultrasounded today. Results next week.

Struggling from early this morning today......

Not clear why????

Discovered problems with the car this afternoon...

Bummer...

 At least I found frames for the two pictures of my friends.  My art teacher will cut the matt board and frame them for me.

Memories

9.20 pm, Tuesday.

 Saw Uncle J today - he and his wife were colleagues of my parents in Kenya - he is 83 and jogs 4 days a week - just not this week as his knee has siezed up a bit from being cramped in the plane on his flight from South Africa last week.

 Don't know what I expected - he looks older, but easily recognisable - we went out for coffee and a walk around some gardens before going back to his hosts' place for a cuppa.  - He asked about mum, about the siblings and their families, about my time in Madagascar... but nothing about the past 8 years ... no mention of what work I am doing... if any  ....

 What did I hope for... my counsellor said he 'might' be able to shed some light on what our family looked like to someone outside - whether the abuse that was happening to me was evident - I couldn't ask the question - so we remembered shared family holiday times, shared school experiences with his kids (his youngest is my age).

 I am tired now - restless and a little discouraged....

Thankful....

Thankful for....

 Safe travel on the weekend to Geelong and back
 Seeing my 8 year old nephew play the drums in the Junior Brass Band at a concert on Sunday.
 Friends......
 Level 2 water restrictions - so I could wash my car
 The computer and internet...
 A comfy bed, warm doona and heat pack (even though it is warm enough that I don't really need it tonight)


8.45 on Monday night.

Nothing

Not much to say tonight...

 Gym, counsellor, doctor about my sore shoulder, op shop, shopping, washing on line, friend's for DVD, home, computer, TV.... hopefully bed and sleep!

 ..............................

My friend comes back from Kenya tomorrow morning... that is one thing to be thankful for.

Roads

This picture always intrigues me everytime I look at it - in a fascinating disturbing sort of way....

 A long, long, road...

 Maybe it is the emptiness of it that disturbs me...

 There is so much in my life...

 But there are vacant empty stretches of road as well....

 They hurt....

 They hurt just now.... I made my own cup of tea .....

 I hope sleep is okay tonight --- it wasn't last night.

10.10 Wednesday night

Headache

I had a headache yesterday afternoon - it was a bad one, by night time....  My eternal sympathies to people who get migraines a lot!!!  I don't know how you survive. 

 It is 3.15 on Tuesday afternoon here - I'm going to try and write the time and day each time I post... as this program is set on some time in the US and I don't know how to change it.

 I feel really tired this afternoon - worked hard with the counsellor yesterday - on stuff I thought we were done with - but it 'came up'.... unexpectedly... 

 Then I went to work for a couple of hours - and sorted through files for a couple of hours... maybe that caused the headache.

 I know there are things I could be thankful for .... but just now ... all I want is a hug ... and someone to make me a cup of tea...

 The sun is shining now --- that is one nice thing.

So you get to see another drawing

I guess art - is something you want to share - and not many people come to my house - so I can share it this way.

 I survived the change to daylight savings time!  Wasn't late for church.... like some! :-).

 Went to visit a good friend again today - beautiful spring weather again.  Got caught in some of the post Grand Final mayhem on the way to the other side of town....

 Plan to do a couple hours of work tomorrow - along with seeing my counsellor in the morning... and going to the gym before that!!

That's the plan...............

 Now, drinking green tea and eating a chocolate chip biscuit.

Candles

I reckon I need a candle tonight - Saturdays can be long days - even though I had some interaction with friends.

 Have done another portrait over the past 24 hours and wasn't ready to start a new picture...

 Not much on TV expect Football and Racing....

 Sometimes the waves splash --- and you get wet.



 Thankful for a sunny spring day.
 For hot chocolate and bikkies.
 For friends...
 For my computer....
 For left overs for tea...