Settling in???

What does it mean to settle in?
 What does it mean to 'be at home?'
 What does it mean to 'belong'?

 Or maybe I shouldn't add the last one in there...  Maybe I can settle in, and/or be at home... even if I don't feel like I 'belong'...  I don't know if I will ever feel like I belong... anywhere.

 I have been in my new home for a week, tomorrow - my counsellor said this morning, that seeing as I am a 'body' person, part of the process of being at home, is giving my body time to know where it is - to know what the floor feels like under my feet, to know the way to the bathroom at night, to know what side to get out of bed, to know about the light and dark... to know where to sit/lie to watch TV... for the little I watch... these things take time.

 I heard the rain on the tin roof overhang outside my window this morning (and over night)... it brought back memories of Madagascar.. and the anxiety... I need to acknowledge the anxiety, and remember that I'm in Melbourne now, and there is a dog here, and a house mate - and the burglars are not coming - or the pick pockets, or the robbers and bandits and bad guys.  I might need to remember that a lot of times.

 I was thinking yesterday, that I need to practice 'coming home' - instead of being out ... and looking for someone to be with - to connect to... Can I connect to this little unit?  Can I start a drawing? Can I do more than sleep and eat here?

 It has only been a week.............................................................

New Place -- not perfect

..... but hopefully okay....

 I move to 4 suburbs away from my community support base.. on Saturday.  I have a couple of men to help with the moving and a trailer - still all feels pretty overwhelming though.  It is to a 2 bedroom unit, with another lady, who is buying the unit - so at least it should be stable for a while - if we manage to get along.

 It has been a challenging month out of town at my friend's place while she has been away.  Better now she is back... somewhere between now and saturday, I need to clean the bathroom and bedroom where I have been staying --- hmmmm. and.... can I pack up all my stuff at her place into my car on Saturday?... there will be a way.

 Had a lovely birthday party on Saturday - very nice - thanks to all my friends and family who came.

 Pondering on, where is a good place to have a week's holiday before the end of the year... and with whom?????