9.00 am, Sunday, Jan 23, 2011
I just had an interesting, and possibly helpful thought.
Just because I may come to experience God's boundless love for me, doesn't necessarily mean that I will be cured from my depression and anxiety. I think I have thought that it does.
Maybe this realisation will help me to be more open to receiving the love that is offered, and to continue to learn how to be in the 'now' which is where God always is... and where there is some hope that my symptoms may be more manageable, and even decrease.
Being in the now, is always a good plan - and one I'm not very good at, as my mind and heart leap forward with all the 'what ifs'. I can't do anything about them - and at the moment, I am fed, sheltered, warm (too hot sometimes), and even loved. There is so much richness in my life.
In that book, that I am reading I read that as we learn to be gentle with ourselves, we can be gentle and tolerant with others - which is one thing I value highly.
I often felt (and still feel sometimes) invisible, and valueless ... I want to 'see' the people I meet each day - then maybe I will even see the loveliness in the ones I find it difficult to be around.
Mmmmmmmmm!
I think you're right. If you tie God's love to being free of your depression and anxiety, then it might not be helpful. Embrace what you can, because that will help you now while you're ill and really need it. You do have value, so you are deserving now!
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