Advent???

I have been looking forward to Advent...
 And didn't mind the first few readings in my book, Mary's Diary...
 That is where I ended up with a list of things about myself that I actually like...

 But today.... I'm just angry.
 Angry at talk about belonging, being chosen, being loved, and being noticed...
 I don't feel like many of those things are happening for me just at the moment...
 I don't want to hear about these things I long for happening for someone else...

 Today I have wanted to curl up in bed and never move again...
 I have thought various unhelpful thoughts... still think.....
 Sometimes chocolate biscuits just aren't enough...