Hot water bottle

Now that is an essential part of my winter kit....
Not only warmth .... but comfort ....

Could do with some of that ...

Afternoon sleep

An afternoon sleep is not always a winner - well it feels like it will be - when you feel like you can't keep your eyes open and your body upright - but then..... you wake up, and discover that the yukky feeling you had when you went to sleep hasn't gone away - it just got worse!

Thankful for music (and a CD player next to the bed....)
Thankful for bread and honey.
Thankful for good friends who welcome me to watch an episode of The Last Detective with her.
Don't know if I'm thankful for my friend and my Curves trainer who pushed me to get to the gym this morning .... guess I don't have to win medals each time I go.

I can be okay... I can be okay ... I can be okay .... Just one minute at a time!
:-(

Not a windy wednesday

I wanted it to be a windy Wednesday today as I put 3 loads of washing on the line this morning before going out to drawing class. Flannelette sheets, towels, and my own washing! And it is due to rain this afternoon... late. I got home in time to get the washing off the line - and it is mostly dry so I now have it draped around various clothes horses and chairs to air and finish drying.

I had drawing class today - we had to take off a shoe and put it on the table and study it closely for 5 minutes, then put it away and draw it from memory with charcoal. I made up a fair bit of mine!!! Then we put the shoe there again and drew it from sight - I enjoyed doing that - I was wearing runners - so it was quite complicated - but did look like a runner in the end. Then we played around with some brushes and ink - using a still life as inspiration. We will do more ink next week.

I am thankful that most of the washing got dry (ish).
For drawing class and the encouraging ladies there (and one bloke).
For a delicious lunch out with a friend.
For making a couple of new friends over the internet - who 'get' the mental health stuff.
For my heat pack, warm socks that a friend gave me, and my blankie.

I am thankful for all my friends! I need you all so much ----

Interesting

I read the following on a prayer site I use ...

sacredspace.ie

What did Jesus mean when he urged self-denial? ‘Deny yourself and take up your cross daily.’ I used to think this meant looking for mortifications. Lord, you have taught me that my cross is myself, my ego, the pains in my body, my awkwardness, my mistakes. Hopkins put it starkly: I am gall, I am heartburn. God’s most deep decree Bitter would have me taste; my taste was me. To follow you is to move beyond ego-trips. It means coping with the business of life without trampling on others or making them suffer. There is a world here to be explored. To deny myself – to reach a point where my self is no longer the most important thing in the world; to be able to take a back seat comfortably; to be happy to listen; to accept without resentment the diminishments that come to me through time or circumstances; to see your hand, Lord, in both the bright and dark places of my life.

I was really struck especially by the last 2 sentiments. ..

It is a challenge to accept without resentment the diminishments that come to me through time or circumstances....

Thankful?

1. Hot yummy dinner cooked for me.
2. 5 litres of minestrone soup cooked.
3. Morning coffee with friends.

..................

Confusion and/or courage

Saw my counsellor this morning - she wants me to talk to all the parts of me and come to some sort of agreement that I won't hurt myself in the coming weeks, while we do some hard work.

Why is this so hard to do - of course it makes sense not to hurt yourself! Who would want to do that! ???

I am thankful for a skilled and insightful counsellor.
I am thankful that I have a good friend staying for the weekend - so we will even eat proper food.
I am thankful for a community shop that provides hot soup and a fresh roll for lunch for a reasonable cost.
I am thankful that I don't have to live tomorrow, today.
I am thankful that not going to the Curves gym this morning doesn't make me a bad person.

Just wish I didn't feel so anxious.

Five Things for Wednesday

It's been cold - that isn't something I am necessarily thankful for.

I am thankful for art class today - even if I don't think much of the charcoal drawing I did.
And for lunch out with a friend - and she paid - and the food was yummy.
An afternoon sleep - even if it wasn't as long as I would like.
That I actually got to the gym this morning, even though I didn't much feel like it, and it didn't matter that I didn't work as hard as I usually do.
Struggling with a fifth one today.... maybe that a box of smarties was on special for a dollar at the supermarket today... (so I bought 2, so I guess that means I didn't save any money)

need a hug....

don't suppose I'll get one of those if I go to MacDonalds for a drink and some company later.