Processing stuff

3.30 pm. 3.6.11. Friday...

 Why does processing difficult stuff take so long... is it possible to be able to move on?
 
 Is it really a case of just putting things behind you and looking to the future? 

 If so, why does the fact that I tried that for 30 years, and ended up feeling worse than ever before?

 Doing some hard emotional work at present, in a number of different spheres...
 
 I am in the process of re-evaluating my commitment to the Community Care at the Op Shop..  I know it is good to be part of that team.  I know it is good for me to be stretched outside myself each week.  But I'm not sure it is good to have so much stress that I can't sleep, and I feel highly anxious.

 I know my primary gifting is in mentoring, teaching, facilitating learning and growth, and the pastoral gifts are an 'aside', in some ways... now that I've committed to co leading a Ladies' Small Group each week, which involves writing and preparing the material, I'm not sure I can do the other?????   And there is the possibility of being able to join an art group in the second half of the year, and I can't do that and Community Care and the Small Group.

 Where does selfishness come into it?

 I was talking to a friend yesterday about feeling like I needed to just 'pull my socks up'... she said that is sort'a hard to do, if you don't have any socks....  Hmmmmmmmmm.......